Wednesday, June 01, 2005
| It’s Your Own Fault if You Read this Lame Shit Well hellooooooooooooooooooo! How is everyone doing? How was the Memorial Day weekend for you? Did you enjoy the weather? Did you eat hot dogs and hamburgers? Did youzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. My weekend was excellent! Way better than I could have ever anticipated. My girls took such good care of me and I ate and drank like a king – er - queen! A kingqueen! I had a special moment with each one of the girls this weekend. It’s so funny that you can know people for YEARS AND YEARS and still not know everything about them. Particularly, my friend Nina. She has grown up into this successful, beautiful woman. I am so impressed by how much she has changed her life. She is an inspiration to the rest of us who think that the upward battle is just too hard. My eyes were opened big and wide this weekend and I feel totally blessed from having had it. That being said, I’m back in New York and ready to continue on with my hum drum life. Actually, this weekend I’m throwing a Murder Mystery Party at my apartment. There are 8 people invited and they will come dressed in costumes and try to figure out a gruesome murder case. It’s totally hilarious and I’m pretty psyched about the game. I’m hosting so I still need to come up with a character for myself. I’m thinking that I’ll be a super hot gay butler. A gay butler that has three nipples maybe. Or maybe- My sense of humor SUCKS today. Can you tell? Or were you not even aware that I was making jokes? I’ve been going through this thing lately where I lose my “game” out of nowhere. One minute I’m the star of the party, the next minute the only reaction I get to my jokes are cricket sounds and a random cough. It’s totally lame. And to make matters worse, I just gave myself a killer hangnail. Fucking great. I’ve been totally man hungry lately. For so long now the anti-depressants I’m on have caused my libido to shrivel up and die. But in the last couple of days, my lust has been insatiable. It’s like being the old, horny me again and it feels great. Plus, during the summer, guys just look so good. Short sleeve shirts, tight around the bicep, pecs full and pumped. I’ve wanted to whip out many dicks lately and have a suck. SLAP! That was me reprimanding myself for being so boring today. Hmmmm….there must be SOME story that I could tell. Let’s see…let me rack my brain-dead self. (Racking) (racking) (more rack) (less ing) (rackles) Got it. Yesterday when I was walking into work, this drug addict asked me for a cigarette. I was in a pissy mood and I said “No”. He proceeded to follow me all the way to my office yelling at me for being a “selfish prick” or whatnot. I told him to fuck off. End of story. ARGH! Help me help myself. It’s maddening how LAME of a personality I have today. If I were a horse, I would be so lame that they would have to put me down. Cuz you know how THEY are. Maybe this story…I got sunburned on the back of my neck yesterday. Yeah, no. This isn’t working at all. Ok, I’m just going to casually back out of the room and hope that no one notices. I’ll just quietly slip away and then when no is paying any attention MAKE A RUN FOR IT! |
